Video Sneak Peak from Teen Mom 2:
http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/577803/ep-11-sneak-peek.jhtml#id=1648903
Oh how I can relate to this so much, not in the instance that I've lost Kaison's father, but on the level that my parents (and family & friends) do not understand my relationship with son's father. All they keep in their mind about him are the bad things that have been brought up about him (by me) and that is it. I'm happy to have had loads of support through the hard times, but I wish it didn't disappear during the good times. It may not seem like a good time to them, but it is a good time to me, and that is what should matter.
*reworded to how it relates to me
Farrah's Mom: "I understand the bad things [he] did to her, so as a mother, its hard for me to have the compassion for that person when they've done such an injustice to my daughter."
Counselor: "Yes, but at the same time the compassion isn't for [him] its for [your daughter]..."
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Bad Day
Its only 8AM and a number of events have already happened that would justify today to be a bad day for me. I will admit, I haven't had a bad day for quite some time now...
Aside from the every day crappy drivers I have to battle every morning during my commute... first incident: my money.
I know I have been needing to badly budget for quite some time now, and that I really cannot spend the way my parents do, because we definitely do not have the same income - but it honestly is hard to break away from those habits. I see my parents want something, or I want something - and they get it without hesitation... that's pretty much how my spending habit has been. I realize now, after 2 incidents that I cannot spend without thinking - and that I have to balance my account and now: BUDGET.
Moving on from the money, just small things have occurred this morning, that I probably wouldn't even notice any other morning, but today it feels like things are just working against me. I put my lunch in the fridge, and when I go to close the fridge, it sounds like an entire shelf just fell and everything on that shelf went rolling off. Well, when I reopened the fridge, sure enough, the inside shelf fell off (how the hell does that happen?) and everything got knocked over and out of it. It was a quick fix, but I thought to myself, "What the hell, what are the odds?"
Then, I get to my desk and I go to put a paper in a box that I've been saving so I can return something in its orignal box - and our cleaning crew threw it away. Again, WTH... what are the odds? Although, I stopped for a second and realized I can't get mad at them, they were only doing their job - I mean I did put the box right beside the trash can... but at the same time, it wasn't in the trash can so part of me feels like using that as an explanation as to why they shouldn't have thrown the box that I really did need away. Then again, that won't bring my box back - and its just a box. We have plenty more in our warehouse... but still... ;)
I tried telling myself as I was walking up the stairs to my office, that these occurrences do not necessarily mean I need to stamp today as a bad day just yet... I try not to think that the world is against me on purpose - and that sometimes: Sh*t happens... and today it just so happens to be happening to me. Lets just see if I can make it to lunch ok!
Aside from the every day crappy drivers I have to battle every morning during my commute... first incident: my money.
I know I have been needing to badly budget for quite some time now, and that I really cannot spend the way my parents do, because we definitely do not have the same income - but it honestly is hard to break away from those habits. I see my parents want something, or I want something - and they get it without hesitation... that's pretty much how my spending habit has been. I realize now, after 2 incidents that I cannot spend without thinking - and that I have to balance my account and now: BUDGET.
Moving on from the money, just small things have occurred this morning, that I probably wouldn't even notice any other morning, but today it feels like things are just working against me. I put my lunch in the fridge, and when I go to close the fridge, it sounds like an entire shelf just fell and everything on that shelf went rolling off. Well, when I reopened the fridge, sure enough, the inside shelf fell off (how the hell does that happen?) and everything got knocked over and out of it. It was a quick fix, but I thought to myself, "What the hell, what are the odds?"
Then, I get to my desk and I go to put a paper in a box that I've been saving so I can return something in its orignal box - and our cleaning crew threw it away. Again, WTH... what are the odds? Although, I stopped for a second and realized I can't get mad at them, they were only doing their job - I mean I did put the box right beside the trash can... but at the same time, it wasn't in the trash can so part of me feels like using that as an explanation as to why they shouldn't have thrown the box that I really did need away. Then again, that won't bring my box back - and its just a box. We have plenty more in our warehouse... but still... ;)
I tried telling myself as I was walking up the stairs to my office, that these occurrences do not necessarily mean I need to stamp today as a bad day just yet... I try not to think that the world is against me on purpose - and that sometimes: Sh*t happens... and today it just so happens to be happening to me. Lets just see if I can make it to lunch ok!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Update! ... Kinda, haha...
What's new, what's new?
Well.. I've slowed down dramatically with my working out, after 10 days of doing the same workout routine on a DVD it gets a tad boring - I'm thinking I might purchase a new one to do so I can switch back and forth when I'm starting to get bored with one!
I really want to be back in shape, with a flat(ter) tummy by the time Kaison turns 1. It'd be great if I could do that before he's 1! I want to be able to wear my clothes with confidence! And not have to pic the shirts that are more loose around the midsection. I feel so limited when I'm shopping, and even when I'm picking out clothes in the morning. Its crazy how for granted I took having a flat tummy :( I'm sure I had some sort of other insecurity when I did have a nice, flat stomach... I know in HS it was about my tata's! Haha... they were below par for me ;) ...
But that's the female sex for ya... always finding some sort of flaw within yourself. I think if I could just get rid of this muffin top - I'll very happy :) I know its possible though, I just need to stay on top of my work out! It really does feel good when I do work out, but so does resting after being at work all day then coming home to chase a speed crawling 9 month old around!
I can't believe he's going to be 1 in three months! I'm already starting to plan his 1st birthday party, but I have no idea which way to go... do I rent out a room at a children's activity center or do I have small, low-key get together at my apartment? Do I go all out on the cake? Or make my own? It is his FIRST BIRTHDAY, but then again.. he won't remember it... what to do!
Same goes with his Halloween outfit! I found the most adorable tiger outfit online for $30+ but I wasn't sure if I should spend that much on an outfit he'll only wear once, and probably want to take off in less than an hour anyway? I probably should choose the cheaper routes considering money isn't falling off the trees for me. Either way, we will make it special for my Kaison!
Well.. I've slowed down dramatically with my working out, after 10 days of doing the same workout routine on a DVD it gets a tad boring - I'm thinking I might purchase a new one to do so I can switch back and forth when I'm starting to get bored with one!
I really want to be back in shape, with a flat(ter) tummy by the time Kaison turns 1. It'd be great if I could do that before he's 1! I want to be able to wear my clothes with confidence! And not have to pic the shirts that are more loose around the midsection. I feel so limited when I'm shopping, and even when I'm picking out clothes in the morning. Its crazy how for granted I took having a flat tummy :( I'm sure I had some sort of other insecurity when I did have a nice, flat stomach... I know in HS it was about my tata's! Haha... they were below par for me ;) ...
But that's the female sex for ya... always finding some sort of flaw within yourself. I think if I could just get rid of this muffin top - I'll very happy :) I know its possible though, I just need to stay on top of my work out! It really does feel good when I do work out, but so does resting after being at work all day then coming home to chase a speed crawling 9 month old around!
I can't believe he's going to be 1 in three months! I'm already starting to plan his 1st birthday party, but I have no idea which way to go... do I rent out a room at a children's activity center or do I have small, low-key get together at my apartment? Do I go all out on the cake? Or make my own? It is his FIRST BIRTHDAY, but then again.. he won't remember it... what to do!
Same goes with his Halloween outfit! I found the most adorable tiger outfit online for $30+ but I wasn't sure if I should spend that much on an outfit he'll only wear once, and probably want to take off in less than an hour anyway? I probably should choose the cheaper routes considering money isn't falling off the trees for me. Either way, we will make it special for my Kaison!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
New, new, new
Oh how things have changed!
I was going back reading my pasts posts.. well, detox diet is non-existant! I will say I have started to work out... although sad to say that is steadily declining. I was doing it every night, then I started to skip a few nights... and now I have only done it once this week. That's pretty sad too - the workout I'm doing is off Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, and its only 27 minutes long! The only time I get to work out is at night after Kaison goes to bed - and you better believe a lot of nights I am pooped! I really should get back my motivation to keep up with the DVD - I've done 10 days of it all together! I'm sure with skipping days I'm not gonna see the results I would see if I did it 30 days straight :(
What else is new? I know you'd like to hear something juicy, and I do have something juicy to reveal - but I'm not quite ready for that to be unleashed ;)
On another note, I've actually started watching Jersey Shore! Can you believe.. I totally thought the show was lame, and was upset every time it came on because I wouldn't watch it... but one day I decided to watch and see what all the hype was about - and now I know! Chuck full of drama that is easy to get sucked into! Just what I need - because I don't have that in my life... which is just fine with me - better its on TV than in my face.
I was going back reading my pasts posts.. well, detox diet is non-existant! I will say I have started to work out... although sad to say that is steadily declining. I was doing it every night, then I started to skip a few nights... and now I have only done it once this week. That's pretty sad too - the workout I'm doing is off Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, and its only 27 minutes long! The only time I get to work out is at night after Kaison goes to bed - and you better believe a lot of nights I am pooped! I really should get back my motivation to keep up with the DVD - I've done 10 days of it all together! I'm sure with skipping days I'm not gonna see the results I would see if I did it 30 days straight :(
What else is new? I know you'd like to hear something juicy, and I do have something juicy to reveal - but I'm not quite ready for that to be unleashed ;)
On another note, I've actually started watching Jersey Shore! Can you believe.. I totally thought the show was lame, and was upset every time it came on because I wouldn't watch it... but one day I decided to watch and see what all the hype was about - and now I know! Chuck full of drama that is easy to get sucked into! Just what I need - because I don't have that in my life... which is just fine with me - better its on TV than in my face.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
What's meant to be will always be...
True or false?! I claim true...
My family and close friends will always want whats best for me... as do I. Although, the book I've been reading has been giving me a lot of insight towards relationships. One of the chapters speaks on family and friends in your relationships. Your family will always wish to choose the person they feel is best for you, someone they think you will be happy with, someone who they believe will take good care of you. But at the end of the day, it's you who has to find someone for yourself because you are the one who will be spending time with this person on a day to day basis.
The book spoke on involving friends in your relationship issues and being careful to not be one sided in your stories - which I am guilty of doing. This is more than likely a result as to why Kaison's father has the reputation in my family and friends' eyes that he does. It takes two... and there are always two sides to every story. Although my best friend once told me there are actually three: yours, his and the truth. That sounds just about right if you ask me...
I've just been doing a lot of personal activities.. I've been doing a workout video every night, reading, and praying. I feel all three have had a very positive impact on my life. I do not go to church and I was never a super religious person, but I do believe God is doing his work for me as I have learned to just let go and let things happen as he lets them. I am finding myself in a very content and happy spot at this point in my life... and that's an amazing thing to be able to say :)
My family and close friends will always want whats best for me... as do I. Although, the book I've been reading has been giving me a lot of insight towards relationships. One of the chapters speaks on family and friends in your relationships. Your family will always wish to choose the person they feel is best for you, someone they think you will be happy with, someone who they believe will take good care of you. But at the end of the day, it's you who has to find someone for yourself because you are the one who will be spending time with this person on a day to day basis.
The book spoke on involving friends in your relationship issues and being careful to not be one sided in your stories - which I am guilty of doing. This is more than likely a result as to why Kaison's father has the reputation in my family and friends' eyes that he does. It takes two... and there are always two sides to every story. Although my best friend once told me there are actually three: yours, his and the truth. That sounds just about right if you ask me...
I've just been doing a lot of personal activities.. I've been doing a workout video every night, reading, and praying. I feel all three have had a very positive impact on my life. I do not go to church and I was never a super religious person, but I do believe God is doing his work for me as I have learned to just let go and let things happen as he lets them. I am finding myself in a very content and happy spot at this point in my life... and that's an amazing thing to be able to say :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Medicine & Praying
Well, I finally went to the doctor this morning!
I was given a precription for an antibiotic and a steroid and told to also buy some Mucinex DM... So far everything seems to be doing its job. I still cough, but not near as many times as I was before all of these medications entered my system...
On another note, I was about to rant about my son's father... but before I did, I actually had a little talk and prayed to God about a few things and I can honestly say I feel better. I no longer feel the need to come on here and vent about him like I was planning on doing it. Weird huh?
But its a good feeling not to feel the same anger I was feeling when I first felt like blogging about it. I'm just going to let it go, let it be because I know bringing it up here will only keep it lingering around longer than it needs to be. I am just going to say that I am happy that it is just me & my son and I love him to death!!
I was given a precription for an antibiotic and a steroid and told to also buy some Mucinex DM... So far everything seems to be doing its job. I still cough, but not near as many times as I was before all of these medications entered my system...
On another note, I was about to rant about my son's father... but before I did, I actually had a little talk and prayed to God about a few things and I can honestly say I feel better. I no longer feel the need to come on here and vent about him like I was planning on doing it. Weird huh?
But its a good feeling not to feel the same anger I was feeling when I first felt like blogging about it. I'm just going to let it go, let it be because I know bringing it up here will only keep it lingering around longer than it needs to be. I am just going to say that I am happy that it is just me & my son and I love him to death!!
Monday, August 16, 2010
WTF
Guess I got too happy too soon... or someone just doesn't want me to be happy.
Friday morning I was planning on calling into work to let them know I was going to come in late so I could go to the doctor for my cough.. well low & behold my cough was pretty much gone... so I think to myself... why go to the doctor for a cough that is no longer there?! But... this weekend it proved to be nothing but a lie... and as I sit here at my desk hacking I decided for sure I am going to the doctor tomorrow morning...
I've had so many cough drops in the past week my tongue is raw, it sucks...
Friday morning I was planning on calling into work to let them know I was going to come in late so I could go to the doctor for my cough.. well low & behold my cough was pretty much gone... so I think to myself... why go to the doctor for a cough that is no longer there?! But... this weekend it proved to be nothing but a lie... and as I sit here at my desk hacking I decided for sure I am going to the doctor tomorrow morning...
I've had so many cough drops in the past week my tongue is raw, it sucks...
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